This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 29

Honestly, I wish all of this was just a dream.

Or perhaps… a hidden camera prank meant to tease me.

Yet, no matter how much I prayed inside, nothing changed.

The words written on the paper for Dogun and me remained the same, and the fact that if this continued, Dogun and the school would part ways was also unchanged.

Of course, just because we would attend different schools doesn’t mean Dogun would suddenly move away or anything.

That wouldn’t happen, but the belief that it would always be like this, which had been so firmly established, would inevitably crumble.

What if we attended different schools?

A lot would surely change.

The events happening at school would be different, and even the timing of exams would subtly differ.

Even the timing for the school trip would be affected.

What impact would this difference have in the future?

What if I became awkward around Dogun?

It felt like someone had shoved their hand into my head and was wildly stirring things up inside; everything was a jumble.

Despite that, there was one small relief amidst all this… Even if the schools split, the practice sessions after school would continue for sure.

How could I be so certain?

Well, considering how things had turned out, I planned to hold onto that at least.

As long as I don’t let go, Dogun’s personality wouldn’t let him push too hard for change.

Moreover, Dogun secretly… actually enjoyed the practice sessions.

“But then…”

How should I go about confessing?

If I confess my feelings to Dogun and he accepts them, that would be the best outcome, but what if… what if he actually rejects me?

Without a doubt, the atmosphere would become extremely awkward, and in a situation where our schools had split, could we really return to how things used to be?

In my heart, I wanted to confidently assure myself that it was entirely possible, but I just couldn’t.

That anxiety, combined with the meaningful attitude Dogun had shown earlier, made hesitation rear its head inside my chest.

That was an area I had never experienced before, making it all the more startling.

…Regrettably, should I just delay confessing?

Thinking simplistically, the probability seemed to be fifty-fifty.

It would hinge on whether Dogun accepted my confession or not.

However, with only a 50% chance, the situation itself felt too unstable.

Therefore, pushing today’s plans back seemed statistically the best approach, but…

“I want to tell you…”

Despite rationality arguing that I should wait, my emotions screamed otherwise.

I wanted to reveal this agonizing feeling I had been harboring for who knows how long, desperately pleading to show it to Dogun.

Ignoring that plea was simply not a reality I could face.

It was frustrating.

And because of that, I wanted Dogun to understand.

Maybe then, a little of this frustration could be relieved.

Of course, it would be even better if he accepted my feelings.

“Alright, then let’s wrap up today’s class here… With a lot of snow and slippery paths, everyone should head home straight away without wandering about. Understood?”

“Yes!—”

“Alright, dismissed!”

The hesitation, which had unexpectedly surged, remained with me as I walked home after school.

No, by the time I neared home, it had multiplied several times over.

It was only natural… If I were going to confess, now was truly the moment.

“Ugh… What’s with all this snow…”

As I cautiously followed behind Dogun, I reflected.

‘…Should I?’

Should I just go for it?

Or is it better to hold back?

As I hesitated, the distance to home kept shrinking.

Once I cross this last set of stairs… I’ll finally see home.

Thus, if I were going to do it, now was the only time.

Maybe that’s why.

Just moments ago, as I was lost in thought, the bag on my shoulder suddenly started to feel heavy.

The reason was likely… what I had hidden inside it.

The more its presence grew stronger, the more my hesitations flared up.

Perhaps that’s why it felt as if I had secretly stowed away my feelings for Dogun in there.

The slippery path and the need to climb the stairs made it impossible to pull out easily.

If I’d regret this after saying it anyway… maybe it’s better to just leave things as they are.

Perhaps… it’d be alright to remain like this a little longer.

As I tried to rationalize that, a whisper—whether angelic or demonic—echoed in my ear.

– Are you sure that’s okay? Today might be your last chance!

Last chance? What on earth was that nonsense?

Surely that couldn’t be true.

As I mentioned earlier, just because the schools separated doesn’t mean Dogun would suddenly move away or something.

– He might not move, but… what if someone else catches his eye at the same school?

I couldn’t overlook those words.

Dogun probably didn’t even realize, but he was quite popular among the girls.

He was taller than most boys, his demeanor was calm, and even since childhood, he had always been quite charming.

Still, very few confessed to him or hinted at their affections… Confessions were viewed as a boy’s job while girls waited to receive them, and the intense competition further complicated matters.

But what if we ended up in different schools?

In that case… it would be virtually impossible to prevent someone from approaching Dogun.

Believing in my talents and trying to lead wouldn’t hold if we were at different schools; it just wouldn’t work.

Given that, sometimes it might be best to tackle things head-on, even if that meant facing difficulties…

It took until now for me to realize that I still didn’t have the courage to accept Dogun’s potential rejection.

So, once again, I found myself hesitating, and during that hesitation, the number of steps left to climb kept dwindling until I was down to less than ten.

If I climb just a few more steps, I’d finally see the view from the other side of the hill.

If that happens… it’d really be the end.

Was it because of that sudden conclusion?

When I snapped back to reality, I found myself back where I had been—stopping in my tracks behind Dogun, unzipping my bag, and pulling out what I had stowed away.

A heart-shaped red box I had found last night at the convenience store… the one that screams “Pepero.”

And written on the side of the Pepero was… the phrase “I like you.”

I had chosen this because I felt too timid to say it verbally, but now that it was back in front of me, an overwhelming embarrassment crawled up my body.

gulp…

I swallowed, feeling my throat dry, and the sound startled me slightly.

‘What if…’

Could he hear that?

Fortunately, it didn’t seem too loud.

Or maybe… Dogun was too busy focused on not slipping to have noticed.

In any case… if I couldn’t say it, I could at least hand him this Pepero instead.

So, I opened my mouth to call out to Dogun, but… the word “Hey” just wouldn’t come out today.

As I hesitated, unable to utter a word, Dogun, seemingly preoccupied with walking carefully to avoid slipping, was surprisingly deep in thought about me.

‘He’s unusually quiet today…’

Was the school change shocking for him too?

Well, I had felt extremely dazed when I first got the paper with the lottery results.

It was inevitable, really, since I hadn’t even considered the possibility of getting separated in the first place.

‘Why did I get separated?’

Looking back, I still couldn’t understand that part.

I had picked Huiseogo as my top choice based on consultation with my teacher, who assured me my grades were more than enough to get in.

Had too many applicants suddenly flooded that school?

‘In any case…’

I should hope he settles in quickly…

Having spent so much time together, being attached to each other had become second nature, but now it would be difficult.

Yet, I wasn’t overly worried.

Unlike back then, when I would easily switch to puffer fish mode at any chance, I had matured a lot and could easily make a friend to share lunch with.

Moreover, it wasn’t like Yoonseo was the only one from our middle school who went to Huiseogo.

And given her reputation as a promising pupil in the area, plenty of people would try to connect with her, so she’d surely make new friends in no time.

Given that, isn’t worrying about me the real concern?

As I pondered this, working my way up the remaining stairs, the satisfying crunch of snow beneath my feet was suddenly replaced with rustling sounds.

I thought I was just pulling something from my bag when suddenly Yoonseo dashed past me, blocking my path.

“…Hey.”

She called out to me in a voice almost like a whisper, and I was taken aback.

Then, without any warning, she shoved something in front of me…

—

It was a bright red box.

In other words… a strikingly red box with a pepero design on it, being held out by Yoonseo as if telling me to hurry and take it.

What… could this be?

I knew about Pepero Day, but I never expected to receive something like this from her.

I was a bit flustered and ended up glancing between Yoonseo’s hand and her face, to which she responded with her usual blunt tone.

“I lent you my scarf.”

“Ah.”

Now that I think about it, that was my scarf.

She always said scarves were suffocating, but now that she seems to actually like wearing it, it looked like she had a change of heart.

With her flushed face hidden in the scarf, there’s no doubt about it.

Anyway, that’s what it was…

“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”

“…Suit yourself.”