This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 316

I made a mistake.

I shouldn’t have done that… Burning with unnecessary jealousy, I ended up making a mistake that I should have avoided.

Is that why this is happening? My heart thumped in a different way, and a chill ran down my spine.

Just moments ago, I felt an awkward but almost floaty sensation as if I were lounging on a cloud… How did it suddenly turn into this?

I had just apologized, but I couldn’t bring myself to raise my head and meet Dogun’s gaze.

If I saw even the slightest hint of disappointment on Dogun’s face…

And if I confirmed that I was the one who made him wear such an expression…

It felt like everything would come crashing down uncontrollably.

So I kept my head down… but it was then that Dogun’s stiff hand began to move again.

“It’s okay, Senior.”

He said, in a surprisingly calm voice, different from what I imagined.

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Dogun’s Perspective

I know too.

The reason Senior suddenly apologized to me.

It’s definitely because I made her talk about my mom.

There was no other explanation.

That’s how it was, since talking about my mom at home was treated like a taboo.

Of course, Chae-rim, who was assigned to look into what happened with Mom, knew it best…

But the others, including Senior and Yoonseo, I had already briefed.

I thought Yoonseo should naturally know, so I did it, and with Senior… since three girls and one boy living under one roof was an abnormal situation, I thought it was necessary to say something.

As for Bora… well, back then, she was a bit of an awkward presence, so I lost track of the timing to say anything.

Anyways, I shared that with Senior to prevent any topic regarding that from becoming someone’s ‘mistake’ later on.

I had said it for that reason, but somehow my intentions were miscommunicated, and after that moment, talk about ‘Mom’ became some kind of taboo.

I don’t know how Bora picked up on that atmosphere, but she also went along with it, making that tendency even stronger.

And for me?

Naturally, that atmosphere nagged at me.

But the reason I didn’t say much about it was simple.

I considered that even if I made a big deal out of it and insisted it didn’t matter, it would likely not be accepted as is.

And that made sense, given the nature of the situation.

If I objectively examine my current circumstances…

The only evidence proving Mom was alive were just a few letters.

In fact, I even got caught up in the Rift while getting that far…

How many people in the world would genuinely believe the words ‘It’s okay’ coming from someone like him?

Even I wouldn’t find it easy to believe such a statement.

That’s why I had half given up on addressing the issue… but when Senior said “I’m sorry”, I suddenly thought, ‘Well, that’s good.’

Since we’ve gotten this far, it wouldn’t hurt to properly address that part.

That’s why, instead of letting it slide, I told her it was okay.

Of course… I know very well that even if I said “It’s okay”, there’s not much chance it would resonate with Senior’s ears as “It’s okay.”

So, I have to make that clear to her.

That what I just said wasn’t just a comforting phrase I fabricated.

“Of course, even if I say this, you might find it hard to believe, but…”

Where should I even start?

As I tried to find the right words, my face began to feel awkwardly hot.

So, after scratching my cheeks a couple of times… I slowly started to speak.

“My mom… is a really strong person.”

Sometimes, there are people like that in life.

Those who are not just obsessively attached to something, but are willing to risk their lives for it.

My mom’s figure, reflected in my eyes, was just that after a brutal headbutt from Yoonseo that suddenly dropped me into a bizarre state of being a child with an adult’s soul.

Of course, I don’t really know what my mom was trying to achieve through such extremes.

But I have a vague suspicion it has something to do with Dad.

Regardless, people like my mom who risk their lives for something usually don’t pay attention to anything other than their goal.

Even if it concerns their own well-being.

And that’s because they are that desperate.

So desperate that they could collapse under the weight of that goal without caring how it affects their ‘self.’

The problem is that once someone begins to collapse in such a way, everything around them starts to fall apart as well.

And I had seen such cases quite often.

That’s why, the moment I began to recover memories from my past life, I was deeply anxious whenever I saw my mom diving into her work, shut away in her study.

What if she collapses?

What if I discover it late?

…What if I’m seen as an annoyance and tossed aside?

Looking back now, those were truly pointless and foolish worries, but at the time, that was how I felt.

Of course, I soon realized otherwise.

My mom is not that kind of person.

As I said before, someone absorbed in something doesn’t look around them.

So they might not even be aware that they could drag the people around them into what might be a hellish situation.

But my mom didn’t do that.

She didn’t drag me down with her; instead, even while she was busy beyond comprehension, she tried to fulfill her role as ‘Mom.’

“Do you know, Senior? My mom really can’t cook.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah, to the extent that every time she picks up a knife, she ended up with a new band-aid on her hand.”

“But despite that, she insisted on making breakfast every morning, saying it’s something she must do.”

Even on days when the light in the study was never turned off, or days when anyone could see she wasn’t doing well, she never failed.

An imperfect, awkward person who never gave up.

Someone who, even when it wouldn’t have been surprising to give up on something, tried their very best until the very end.

That’s the ‘Mom’ I saw.

For that reason, I respected her.

“So I trust my mom. When she says it’s okay, it really is okay.”

After all, she’s someone who goes wherever she pleases without a care, even to the most remote areas without anyone knowing how she got there.

“So you don’t have to apologize so much. I’m really okay.”

Fortunately, it seems that what I had said wasn’t completely ineffective.

The head that had been hanging low returned to its original position.

“…I see.”

“That’s right. Oh, but… I’m human too, and if I were the only one stuck in that house, to be honest, I might have felt a bit lonely, but for now…”

Maybe my voice caught her attention.

Senior slightly turned to look at me.

And while I locked eyes with her, I continued.

“As you know, it’s pretty bustling every day, right?”

“That’s true… it pretty much is.”

Finally, my feelings seemed to have properly gotten through to her.

As she replied, a faint smile appeared on Senior’s lips.

“Oh, by the way, Senior.”

“Yes?”

“Since we have the chance to talk, may I ask what your plans are for the end of the year?”

“End of the year?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t have anything scheduled, but…”

Well, that makes sense.

Even if we say ‘end of the year’, it’s still more than a month away.

“What about any missions?”

“Well… I think if I apply in advance, I might be free for a day or two?”

“Hmm…”

“But why do you ask?”

“Oh… it’s nothing big. Since a lot has been happening recently, I thought it might be nice to gather everyone for a small year-end party.”

“A party…?”

“Yes.”

“Everyone…?”

“That’s right.”