This World is too Cruel to Men – Chapter 97

“Uh, um…”

To be honest, I think I was a bit… quite flustered.

It couldn’t be helped since I thought Yoonseo would want to reconcile with me by this point.

But then, when right in front of me, I was directly faced with someone’s unmistakable gesture of rejection, I couldn’t help but flinch automatically.

“Maybe I should have… waited a bit longer?”

Thanks to that, those thoughts crossed my mind, and as a result, I couldn’t help but keep an eye on Yoonseo.

Once I started doing that, it goes without saying that the already awkward atmosphere became even more tense.

The fact that our party ended up failing to escape was largely influenced by this as well.

The theme we chose seemed to revolve around sharing hints obtained through walkie-talkies while one side was being held hostage and the other side was rescuing them, solving various problems based on that, but in such a situation, how could we succeed if one side wasn’t functioning properly?

It was like having a cart with one wheel broken, unable to move properly.

Anyway, after that failure to escape… it was no surprise that the others started to be more cautious around me and Yoonseo.

“This is such a nuisance…”

Thanks to that, my appetite soured.

What exactly was I being a nuisance for?

But given that I had already been outright rejected once, it felt a bit wrong to just try again without any hesitation, so I kept my mouth shut—

“I can’t take this! Let’s go watch a movie!”

Jinho, who naturally can’t stand awkwardness, took the initiative to try to cover up the situation.

As for me… I had no position to refuse or anything, so I had no choice but to follow.

Once we moved from the cafe to the movie theater, it turned out that the soonest movie we could watch would start in about an hour.

So, we decided to kill some time at the arcade located underneath the theater.

We decided to kill time, but… as I spent time with the kids, I realized at some point that I couldn’t see Yoonseo anywhere.

At first, I thought she might have gone to the bathroom… but where could she have gone?

“Could it be…?”

I slipped away from the group to check the arcade just in case.

As I searched around the arcade, I spotted Yoonseo near a cluster of claw machines.

Maybe she wanted to win something?

She was standing in front of one of the claw machines in the middle of the lineup, looking a bit dazed as she operated the machine.

Once I confirmed that, I carefully approached her, and at that moment, I saw a cute rabbit character box precariously hanging by the claw, only to get dropped to the ground as the claw rattled and shook.

I thought for sure she would be able to grab the box when it was being raised by the claw, but it ended up falling like that, and maybe that triggered a stubborn determination in her.

Yoonseo inserted another coin into the machine, her face slightly tense as she began maneuvering the claw toward the box with the rabbit character on it that had just fallen.

“Ah… right.”

She used to like rabbits, didn’t she?

To be specific, she liked the character on that box.

If I recall correctly, she had liked it since kindergarten… because of that, we once had a fight over it.

Of course, that too was a kindergarten story.

Maybe Yoonseo’s fondness for that rabbit character lingered in her memories from that time.

From my perspective, I couldn’t understand what was so passionately appealing about that goofy-looking thing… but then again, everyone has their own tastes, right?

It might be hard to understand, but I should respect it.

And more importantly… I saw this as an opportunity.

An opportunity to change the awkward atmosphere somehow.

Every time she failed to win, she kept shoving coins into the machine, so it seemed like she really wanted that prize but wasn’t being successful. If I stepped in and helped her win it…

What if I handed her the prize while carefully adding an apology?

Given Yoonseo’s personality, she might pretend to accept it.

“Ugh… do you really think you’ll win like that? Come out, I’ll help you.”

So after pondering for a while, I said that half-heartedly as a gamble, and thankfully, Yoonseo stepped aside without a word.

*

“Why am I always… like this?”

Why am I only capable of doing this?

I wanted to reconcile… I thought this time I could do it… but why did I have to dodge Dogun’s gaze at that moment…

And maybe that’s when things started to feel awkward for Dogun and his movements.

The moment I sensed that he was acting as if he was watching me, I realized.

Dogun meant to extend a hand to reconcile at that moment, but I had turned it away.

Was it really easy for him to be the first one to reach out for reconciliation?

There’s no way.

No matter how much of a good person Dogun is, that must have been hard for him.

Yet despite that, he still offered his hand first.

As if he had made the mistake himself.

But I ignored it.

Just because I felt awkward…

The mere thought of Dogun potentially being rejected if I apologized first made me panic, leaving me unable to muster the courage, while he created that rare opportunity and I kicked it away.

What else could this be but foolishness?

That thought was so embarrassing that I couldn’t bear to lift my head.

Especially since we had failed to escape, which made it even worse.

If I think about it, it didn’t seem like it was that difficult!

Yet, having failed made it feel like it was because I couldn’t even pull my weight.

After moving from the Escape Room Cafe to the theater, and from the theater to the arcade, I quietly slipped away from my friends because of that.

After breaking away from my friends, including Dogun, I pretended to focus on the claw machines in the corner of the arcade to buy myself some time to calm down—and—

“Ugh… do you really think you’ll win like that? Come out, I’ll help you.”

Once again… I heard that voice.

Not only that, but he was extending his hand for reconciliation again without fail.

Having already been rejected once, I knew it wouldn’t be easier this time… but looking at his actions, it didn’t appear that way at all.

If that’s the case… then doesn’t that mean he’s already gotten used to this?

Maybe it’s because of someone that he has become so accustomed to apologizing…

Thanks to this, I suddenly realized.

I had been making Dogun bear the brunt of my issues all this time.

Thinking back, Dogun had always been the one to apologize first.

No matter where the blame lay, that was always the case.

That’s why I took it for granted that it was supposed to be that way.

In reality, it was never the case, and yet I had thought that way.

Until now.

But once I decided that I should apologize to Dogun first… I finally understood.

How much of a burden I had unilaterally placed on Dogun all this time.

Maybe it was because of this realization that my already heavy lips felt even heavier… and my face grew hotter.

The fact that I stepped aside quietly without any complaints to Dogun’s words had a lot to do with that influence.

Was it because my face was burning?

“I’m feeling dizzy…”

Since earlier… when I saw Dogun and Baeksulhwa together, it had started to resurface and gnaw at me, making my body feel ill.

So maybe that’s why… I felt like I was struggling to breathe more than before.

I slowly leaned back against the wall, carefully resting my body against it.

The coolness of the wall felt nice.

Yet, the dizziness remained… my vision had turned hazy at some point.

Everything before my eyes felt like there was fog obscuring it.

Despite that, the figure of Dogun standing before the claw machine remained clear… I murmured toward his back.

“I’m sorry…”

I’m sorry.

I was wrong.

I’m sorry for getting mad and pushing you.

It was because I was anxious… because I was anxious.

You’re all I have.

You’ve always been next to me, but… I was afraid that someone else would take your place.

That made me anxious.

And these past few days… I’m sorry for avoiding you.

It was because I had no face to show you… that’s why.

From now on… I won’t avoid you anymore… I promise I won’t do that… so please don’t hate me.

And…

“And also…”

Maybe because I poured out everything I had been holding in without rest.

My throat felt hot.

I could barely stand it… so I slowly closed my eyes.